That's Not Bittnerness

Did you know there is a difference between pain, anger, resentment, and bitterness? The latter two happen (resentment and bitterness) when we do not give ourselves time to process and heal.)

Sometimes, people will call your process resentment and bitterness because they feel you should be over it already. Or they have been where you are and know what you are going through. Or your pain is showing up in decisions without clear thinking. That is not a resentment or bitterness.

Resentment is a negative emotional reaction to being mistreated. Self-harming behavior. Drinking, drugging, spending too much money. Etc….

Signs of bitterness:

1) Grudges are a part of your personality. ...
2) You rarely see the good in situations…
4) You hate it when other people experience positivity. ...
5) You act out so people care about you (thrive on attention). ...
6) You don't hold yourself accountable. ...
7) You spread rumors. ...
9) You complain constantly.

Clinically, we are taught there are stages to loss and grief, and not all loss and grief are attached to physical death. Lifestyle, relationships, careers, innocence, different types of traumas ( sexual, emotional, financial, etc…)

As a counselor who works with grief, loss, and trauma, this started many years before my formal training. The formal training confirmed what I knew intuitively. Emotionally stressful lifestyles, intense unhealthy family dynamics, and any kind of abuse are the seeds of trauma in our spirit, mind, and body.
Most times, we don’t have the time or space to pause, process, and release the pain, hurt, disappointment, and what we feel as betrayal.

We have learned to survive with it! Until one day, it stops us, leaving us with no choice but to deal with it or repeat the cycle again. This, many times clinically, is called a pathology spiritually, it’s a generational curse and social addiction.

The point of this point! Do Not Let Yourself Feel - bogged down with other people's opinions of your process.

Depending on how deep the wound is. Meaning it is a repeat offender cycle you are working through. It takes Time. Trust me, sometimes you have to pull away and not deal with it. Find joyful activities (walking, reading, dancing, etc.… ), anything that releases natural endorphins

It’s in those moments you will receive the breakthroughs and Ah Ah…..

And can revisit the areas of pain and anger only to discover you have been released and forgiven.

Forgiveness! Oh, Forgiveness, the Scooby snack like the word love. However, these two words represent the action of accountability.

It takes time. Give yourself time to see yourself, so that you may begin to choose interactions and relationships differently.

To learn more and schedule a session with

Lurinda Iris Jones

email: Ljones@COINPM.org or call 818-584-2513